Episode 25: Romantic Getaways

Mary Herendeen:

Imagine getting away with your partner, away from household chores, work responsibilities, daily distractions, or just the monotony that sometimes comes with routine. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and put romance on the back burner, but vacationing with your significant other is a great way to reconnect, create new memories, and learn and love more about each other through some shared experiences and new perspectives.

Welcome to Traveling With AAA. I'm your host, Mary Herendeen. Today, we're setting off on a romantic getaway. We are joined by longtime travel enthusiasts and love birds, Ian and Tonya Fitzpatrick. Attorneys Ian and Tonya co-host the award-winning World Footprints podcast, and founded World Footprints, a heart-centered social impact travel media company where travelers of conscience and culture come for information, education, and inspiration in the travel space.

Ian and Tonya Fitzpatrick, thank you so much for joining us today.

Tonya Fitzpatrick:

Oh Mary, it's a pleasure. Thank you.

Ian Fitzpatrick:

Thank you, Mary.

Mary:

The pleasure is all ours. I took a look at your website and I'm wondering what inspired you to start the website and the podcast, and what is your mission?

Tonya:

Golly, how much time do we have? Oddly enough, World Footprints started as a result of a trip that Ian and I took. We're both lawyers, and I'm also originally from the Midwest, so I'm kind of “Midwest Nice” and say hi to everyone. We happened to meet a woman and her sister who were vacationing at the same hotel in San Francisco, and I was complaining about the glass ceiling with the legal profession and unbeknownst to me, she was a life coach. She talked to us a little bit, and then gave Ian some questions to prompt me to think about my career. He coached me in our hotel that night, and I discovered that I have 2 passions that have been neglected: horses and travel.

I figured we don't have money for a horse right now, so we looked into travel. We built a travel agency and started doing a lot of television promotional work in Washington DC that gained the attention of a top radio station here. They invited us to do a show, we went digital, and the rest is history. World Footprints was born out of a passion for travel.

Mary:

Wow, thank you for sharing that. Now, your own story reads a lot like a love story. Ian, can you tell us about how you and Tonya met?

Ian:

Sure, I think we came to travel from different places, but it's really the glue that has kept us together. In my case, I grew up in Maryland and Michigan, and I was able to travel quite a bit as a kid. I was an only child, so my mom and I took trips. My first trip was to Montreal, Canada on a plane from Baltimore to Montreal in 1970, and that's kind of how I got that flying travel bug. Throughout my life, I've had these opportunities, whether it's been to travel to Hawai‘i or to Europe when I was in school. I spent 2 and a half weeks in Europe, the UK, France, and primarily the Netherlands doing a business project when I was at Michigan. Thankfully, because of that experience, I got a passport.

That was in 1995, and it was a situation where I had 48 hours to get my passport before going to Europe. I had a flight out of Detroit and flew to Chicago for a few hours to pick up a passport. To make a long story short, that passport was the key to me and Tonya getting together because she wanted to meet someone who was well-traveled and had a used passport. These were questions she asked the person who brought us together, who happened to be my cousin. If it weren’t for that passport, I would not be sitting here.

Mary:

Wow.

Tonya:

He's absolutely right. That was a value of mine. I lived abroad, and when you travel extensively and live abroad, your view of the world is very different from those who've never traveled as extensively as I had. And I just didn't want to go through that horror of dating someone who had a different view of the world than I did, so that was a criteria. And I found out Ian also spent some time or grew up in Michigan, which happens to be, as I mentioned, my home state. I thought, “Midwest values, he has a passport.” He checked those boxes and I agreed to meet him for a date.

Mary:

Yeah, that's really interesting you say that. When I think about a relationship and why I think travel can really put the spark back, it's not just because you're doing all these amazing things, but you’re seeing the world differently together, experiencing things for the first time, seeing your partner in a different light, seeing the way that they interact in situations that aren't as familiar can be really telling and bring another bond.

According to travel polls, Americans are planning almost 50% more Valentine's Day trips this year. Why do you think that's happening? Do people realize the importance of getting way together?

Tonya:

I think so, and there's a lot of revenge travel going on, too. We're just coming off 3 years of being stuck at home and people are really interested in not only connecting with the world, but couples who have been stuck at home are really interested in nurturing the relationship. A lot of that happens when you're traveling. It's a very romantic experience. When you're experiencing new things, tasting new foods, that really helps to build on the relationship you already have.

Ian:

Travel is going to expose everything. You're always going to have something that happens, whether it's frustration because of things being out of your control, so character is revealed quite a bit during those trips. Whether the intention was romantic, there's always going to be something that comes out of it that you wind up learning something new about your partner, yourself, how durable your relationship is, because travel will test that.

If you've ever watched The Amazing Race, you've seen how couples go through some of these challenges, and regardless of whether you're doing it on a romantic trip, there's always going to be something that you have to compensate for. We had to do that during our wedding. We got married in Bermuda, so it was actually a trip for us, our family, and our closest friends but we still had some challenges. From tuxedo fittings to a missing pair of socks that my nephew needed, and just other things that came up. We pretty much put ourselves under the travel stress test from day 1.

Tonya:

Yeah, I think the thing that has worked for Ian and I is when things have gone wrong, and they have gone wrong on some of our trips, whether it was our honeymoon trip in South Africa and navigating that cattle prod of an airport, or missing a ferry trying to get back from Put-in-Bay island when we were in Sandusky, Ohio. We have learned to find the most wonderful treasures when things happen unexpectedly. The ferry that I mentioned in Ohio, we found the best lobster bisque I have ever tasted in my entire life. We're in Maryland now, so we know seafood, but Put-in-Bay in Ohio has the best lobster bisque. We've learned how to just looked for those little treasures even when things don't go right.

Mary:

Yeah, I think flexibility when you're planning a romantic vacation, keeping things light, knowing that things won't always go the way you anticipated is pretty critical. What are some of the other most important ingredients in planning a romantic getaway?

Ian:

Research ahead of time, and I'll point to our engagement, which took place in Toronto of all places. That was a special place to me because I had traveled there quite a bit in my youth, and actually had an opportunity to spend quite a bit of time there when I was in law school.

So, I knew the city pretty well, and it was one of these places that was always special to me because of architecture, and I loved architecture and Canada. The experience that I planned was a helicopter trip in which I was going to present Tonya her engagement ring, but it turns out that the entire helicopter fleet was grounded that weekend for maintenance. So plan B required of me to think about, “How am I going to do this mid-air proposal above Toronto?”

Working with the owner of that business, we figured out a way to go on a scenic tour above Toronto on a Cessna. With that in mind, we added something and I was able to hire a second plane to pull a banner that asked Tonya to marry me. With her dexterity, she was fortunate enough to get a picture of the banner in flight with a digital camera that I had given her the Christmas before. But without that flexibility and saying, “Oh my God, I'm not going to be able to do this,” that would've been one of those memories and a story that we would not be able to share with you.

And a few years later, we met a person who worked for tourism in Ontario, and she says, “Hey, I know you guys. I remember reading about this proposal in the Toronto newspaper.” I said, “Really?” Because it was like 10 years after the fact, and she knew of this story. So, that's just an example of being flexible. I like to operate by the mantra, “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent,” and you've got to be flexible when it comes to travel and travel planning.

Tonya:

Yeah, and Mary, I'll just share real quickly that I do not like prop planes. So, we're in this little plane going around Toronto and there's a little bit of turbulence. I am not feeling it, and I'm looking at the roofs and thinking, “OK, maybe there will be a proposal or something on a roof.” Luckily, the plane with the sign flew by and I got my second wind back. I had to be flexible enough to really appreciate his thoughtfulness, but I do not like prop planes!

Mary:

Yeah, it's so crazy. So, the plane engagement, Bermuda, South Africa for the honeymoon—it just sounds incredible. It’s so funny, my husband proposed to me in a helicopter. I'd never been in a helicopter before, and he was like, “Hey, I was thinking, have you ever done a helicopter ride?” And I'm like, “No.” He was super excited about it, and I was like, “Ah, whatever.” And he was really excited, so he kept talking about it in the days leading up to it. We're walking, and I'm holding his hand and it’s sweating like crazy. I'm like, “Oh my gosh, he's really nervous.” So, he brought his GoPro, and I'm like, “Please don't record any of this.” I don't like to be recorded. Isn't that odd? I didn't even do a wedding video, if that is telling. But I was like, “Oh, don't record me.” And he is like, “Oh, I'm just excited. It's such a unique experience.”

Well, he brought it so he could record my reaction to our engagement. We flew over the Laguna Beach area here in California, and his friends had carved out, “Will you marry me?” in the sand. As we went over he’s like, “Hey, look there,” and I'm looking, but I don't see anything and I look again, and right as we turned away, you could see the “Will you marry me?” I just thought that was so incredible, so I could see why you're swept away and why you're the experts on romance. Thank you for sharing that with us.

We've got some great advice on planning that romantic getaway, but before we heat things up, let's take a quick break. When we return, we're going to dive deeper into finding the best destination for you and your valentine.

Mary:

Welcome back to Traveling With AAA. I'm your host, Mary Herendeen, and today we are joined by Ian and Tonya Fitzpatrick, award-winning travel journalists and podcasters who are here to give their advice on planning unforgettable romantic getaways. Welcome back, Ian and Tonya.

Ian and Tonya:

Thank you.

Mary:

Before our break, you were talking about romance and being flexible, but what about destinations? Does it always have to be expensive? Because I'm thinking about that South Africa trip, and it sounds incredible, but I don't know if it might be affordable for me. What are some of the best places to go for maybe budget-friendly romantic getaways?

Ian:

You can always find some place close to home. If you live in the city, going to an exurb, outstate, or rural areas near your city hometown can be romantic because it gets you out of your comfort zone. And vice versa for those folks who are out in the rural lands or hinterlands going into the city. It just changes things up and you get to look at the world a little differently.

For us, a lot of times, it's going to the small towns in the mid-Atlantic area, and we've got some favorites. We're close to one place where we did a little romantic Valentine's trip to Hershey, Pennsylvania, the sweetest town on Earth. We did that on a snowy Valentine's Day many, many years ago and we had spa treatments. Tonya had a special chocolate spa treatment…

Tonya:

Everything smelled like chocolate. Everything, the bathrooms, the bedrooms! That was yummy in itself. But yeah, that was close. What's our other favorite place?

Ian:

We've done the Outer Banks for camping, and the Eastern Shore of Virginia and Maryland. We've done camping, which again is a lot of work, but being by water is very important to Tonya, and to have those sunsets and those sorts of experiences. Even though camping may not sound like the most exciting thing for some, depending on where you go, you can always build in things. When we did Chincoteague, we were able to take an evening boat ride with just us and our captain to see the ponies out in the sound and enjoy the sunset. And that wasn't too far from home; it was a pretty quick getaway, a 2 and a half hour getaway from Washington. I always think no matter where you are, there's always someplace close to home that will be breathtaking, romantic, and allow you that time to just have some fun with each other.

Tonya:

Yeah, and I think one of the things that we still do to this day is we always like to find a first experience for the 2 of us. Whether it's flying in a new airplane that neither of have of us have flown in, visiting a city, going to a museum, seeing a new movie or art exhibition, we always look for those firsts.

One of our adventures really close to home was a bike ride around BWI Parkway followed by a picnic. That was an anniversary trip for us, so traveling and having those romantic moments does not have to cost you an arm and a leg. It could cost nothing but time.

Mary:

Thank you. Yeah, it sounds like it. As you're telling your stories, I'm just sitting here going, “Wow, that sounds so romantic.” Now, one thing that's not romantic is totally missing the mark on what I would find enjoyable. What are your thoughts on surprising the other person with planned romantic getaway? Is it a good idea to surprise somebody, or should you stay away from it?

Tonya:

I love surprises and Ian has always hit the mark for me. I would have to defer to him for the surprises I’ve made.

Ian:

I think if you know your spouse or significant other likes surprises, then surprise them. If they're not into surprises, still surprise them. Because the other thing about it is, as we've talked about, being taken out of your comfort zone or shaking things up. Whether the person likes surprises or not, it's the thought behind it and the memory that comes from that.

If you're like me, I'm not a surprise person. I think probably because I'm a lawyer and I've got to anticipate a lot of things, so by nature, surprises are not a good thing for me. But some of the best memories that I have are things where Tonya surprised me, and so I'm grateful for those because as time passes, you look back and maybe it's because people who were part of that event are no longer here. It means a lot more, particularly as we come into this post-pandemic era. A lot of us have gone through a lot, and you look back at those memories and realize that travel really is about building memories.

Whether it's a surprise or a plan at the end of the day, you're going to have that memory and that will sustain you in those times when things are not going well, or when you're dealing with tough situations, you can always draw on those things. That's the thing that makes travel the most meaningful.

Tonya:

Yeah, when I think about planning something for Ian, I’m an adventurous soul—I will jump off a building, which I have done, but my husband will not and so I will not purchase a pass for him to go to the 108th floor of a building to jump off because I know he'll hate it. When I'm planning surprises, I keep his preferences in mind, and I may sprinkle in a little bit of the things that I want to do as well to keep it fresh for both of us.

Mary:

Yeah, that's important. Yes, surprises are great, and things that are maybe outside of the comfort zone, but still within reasonable limits, I guess. Thank you for sharing that.

Finally, what are some of your personal favorite romantic places to go? What’s at the top of the list?

Tonya:

Golly.

Ian:

Oh, there's so many. I would say Brazil is one of those places. We love Brazil. We spent 2 and a half weeks in Brazil and that was a lot of fun.

Tonya:

A place closer to home is Berkeley Springs, West Virginia because personally, I love history. And there's a national park that has natural spring waters, they have a couple of spas, and places to get a massage. It's also where George Washington's bathtub is built into the ground, and it’s an arts community. It's an hour and a half drive for us, so sometimes we’ll just go for lunch. It’s hard because there are just so many, Mary.

Ian:

Mackinac Island.

Tonya:

Oh, yeah! In my home state.

Ian:

It was cold when we were there, but we pretty much had the island to ourselves.

Tonya:

Ian had never been, even though he lived in Michigan. He had never been to the Upper Peninsula, but Mackinaw Island was my playground as a child. And so we went, I surprised him with a trip to see the fall colors, which are spectacular. Again, take a dart and throw it on a board and we'll find a favorite place wherever that dart falls.

Ian:

Bermuda will always be a special place for us, just like South Africa, because we honeymooned there. We've had opportunities to go back to South Africa and go to neighboring countries.

Tonya:

Namibia was incredibly romantic. We dined and bathed under the stars. It's beautiful.

Mary:

It sounds amazing. Tonya, you were so right about ensuring that there were stamps on that passport, and what a great connection over your love of travel and clearly your love for each other. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and your advice with us today.

Ian:

Thank you.

Tonya:

It's our pleasure.

Mary:

And thank you to our listeners for being with us. If you're planning a trip, be sure to connect with a AAA travel advisor, check out AAA.com/travel, or visit your local branch. If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe. I'm Mary Herendeen, thank you for traveling with AAA.