Walking across Spain with Andrew McCarthy

Best known for his starring roles in the iconic ’80s films Pretty in Pink and St. Elmo’s Fire, Andrew McCarthy not only continues to act, but is also a prolific director and travel writer.

His engaging new book, Walking With Sam, published in May, chronicles his 2021 trek across the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage trail in northern Spain with his then 19-year-old son, Sam, who’s also an actor. The pair slept in inns, chatted about a wide range of topics, and completed the 500-mile journey (the Camino Frances route) in a little over a month. I recently caught up with Andrew by phone to learn more. 

You walked the Camino de Santiago on your own more than 25 years ago. You must have enjoyed it if you wanted to do it again. What was that journey like?

At first, I hated it. About 2 weeks into the walk, I was in an area with nothing but wheat fields for days. A lot of people have a hard time there. I had a tantrum. I broke down sobbing. But that led to this realization of how much fear had dominated my life. Suddenly, I noticed its absence. It was such a life-changing moment. I’d always wanted to do the walk again. Decades passed. Then my son went through a breakup and said, “You wanna do that walk?” I bought 2 tickets to Spain right away, because I knew he’d change his mind.

You write that you wanted to create a deeper connection with Sam. Did you always imagine travel could help?

Yeah, you and I both know the transformative power of travel. It’s much easier to access people when you get out of your routines. You’re vulnerable in a way you aren’t at home. There’s something about that space. Stuff comes up that wouldn’t around the dinner table. With Sam, you get him moving and eventually stuff starts pouring out. We’d be silent as we set out in the morning, and then he’d go, “You know … .” And I just knew, here it comes. Even when it was driving me crazy, I was aware of how lucky I was.

How did the experience change your relationship?

It changed the dynamic from father and son to just people. The great thing is that you’re doing something together. One person isn’t more in charge than the other. In fact, in this case, Sam is physically stronger and can power up that hill. So you have to let that dynamic shift.

At one point, I fell and hit the ground hard. It was a scary moment. He helped me. Him helping me was one thing for him. But me letting him see me exposed in that way was a big deal. My son wanted to be seen as a man. He doesn’t want to be our kid anymore. To let that relationship shift, in an experiential way, was profound. I had no relationship with my dad in my adult life, and I didn’t want that to happen with my kids. The changes that happen with teenagers are shocking and absolute. It’s easy to lose people along the way. I always thought that if my children want to have an active relationship with me in their adult lives, then my life will have been a success.

What would you tell others considering walking the Camino?

Just go. It requires nothing. No skills. You need a pair of walking shoes. You sleep in beds every night. It’s fear that keeps people from going. Most people walk only the last 5 days of the trek. I’d recommend doing the whole thing. The longer you do it, the more value there is in it.

You’re a busy guy. How did you find the time?

Well, I bailed on a directing job. But this was a more valuable use of my time, because I was doing it with my son.

Do you have your sights set on any other big walks?

No. I don’t need to walk the Appalachian Trail. There’s something about a pilgrimage trail that I find interesting. There’s nothing to discover on the outside. It’s all internal. Millions of people have done this over the centuries. Tapping into that is really meaningful. I’d like to walk the Camino again when I get really old. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.